The problem is, I have gout. I know that makes me sound like Henry the Eighth or something, but it’s no joke, when it flares up it can be really awful, I can’t even have a bedsheet on my big toe when I sleep because if it slips around, even a little bit, it’s super painful. But this time it wasn’t so bad, I could even walk on it kind of, which isn’t always the case. I mean, it still hurt a lot, I was limping, and that was really the problem, because when you hobble around like that for a few days, the rest of your legs go a little funny. You’re using muscles you don’t usually use, so your balance is off, your legs get shaky. And then the other thing is, I always take showers, but my wife, she likes to take a bath sometimes, and when she does she has all these different types of oils and creams and unguents and gels and I don’t even know what all. Usually after her bath she’ll use this little scrubber thing we have, to quick go over the tub and wash all that stuff away. But this time she must have forgot, because I get in the shower and right away I can tell it’s pretty slippery. But I figure, I’ll just be extra-careful and not take too long in there. Big mistake! Because after I’m almost done and I’m shampooing my hair, I turn around to rinse it off and the next thing you know I slip and I grab the tension rod on my way down, but the only thing that does is bring the shower curtain down with me, and I get wrapped up in that and I bang my head on the toilet seat and end up on the floor. And that might have been okay, except that the end of the tension rod knocked this hanging shelf thing we just put up in the bathroom, with the plants on it, and that came down too and hit me I guess on the back of the neck and killed me. And that’s it. It was really just a crazy series of flukes.
          Death was sympathetic. That’s some bad luck, he said. But you shouldn’t be embarrassed. You’d be surprised how many people.
          I know. They say most accidents happen at home.
          That’s not my experience, said Death. But then I just see a certain type of accident.
          You probably don’t see it when people stub their toe or something.
          Exactly. That’s exactly it.
          So what happens next?, asked Bob.
          Up to you, really, said Death. I don’t have anywhere to be.
          Huh, me neither. Well, let me think about it.
          Your wife will be home soon, right?
          Ooh yeah, poor Angie. I don’t think I want to be around when that happens. We should go. Is that cowardly of me? Angie always says I’m an avoider.
          Everyone’s different, said Death, who had discovered over the eons that patience and cliché worked best. I’m here for whatever you decide.
          It does seem like I’m being kind of an avoider, said Bob. And we did just get all this stuff done around the place. I barely got to enjoy it. Can we, you know, put a pin in all that for a while and see how it goes?
          Not a problem, said Death. I’ll just swing back in a little bit and see where you’re at.
          Thanks, man, said Bob. That means a lot to me.
          Death made his brusque farewells. Bob sat and waited for Angie.
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